Why is so much email pointless?

As someone keen to bring as much traffic to my voice over website as possible, I’m advised to blog on a regular basis about all things related to the world of the voice artist. Trouble is, after a while, I worry that I’m just repeating myself, because there’s only so much I can say before the same points come around again.

That being said, I do enjoy writing, and often find that a good blog can be a means to exorcise one’s demons without reverting to violence or showing up on Jeremy Kyle. So you’ll forgive me, dear reader, if every once in a while I just share what’s on my mind. Those lovely people at Google will reward me with better rankings, and you just may find yourself inspired, provoked or dare I say, entertained in the process.

So today, I want to talk about the dozens of emails that I receive every day which apparently serve no purpose whatsoever. There are three main types of email like this. The first will have a subject line along the lines of “wcefnwerjsmbwzxzxc” and the body of the email itself will be blank. OK, so what’s the point of that? Perhaps some bit of software is out farming for email addresses but so what? If the sender follows up with anything at all I’m just going to trash it, so why bother?

On to version number 2. These are generally emails from people I’ve never heard of saying something like “Hi, I’m 23, Polish, lots of fun and would love to meet you”. Why? Why do you want to meet me, and more to the point, why would I want to meet you? Chances are such emails contain links to porn sites, but as I’ve never clicked on one, I just wouldn’t know. Honest. What do you mean “yeah sure”?

And then my personal favourite – the scam, and if I were to list all of the ones I’ve seen in the last month alone I could fill this blog every day for a month. What bothers me is that these ten year old scams continue to circulate. There’s nothing new, there’s no creativity – they don’t even change their names, it’s just the same crap circling around the drain, waiting for that one poor unsuspecting muppet who actually believes that some woman in Nigeria wants to funnel $56m through him just as soon as he gives up his bank details.

What’s worse, is that so many of these emails have no reply address, so even if someone was dumb enough to fall for it, there’s no way for them to hand over their money.

Do what I do. Every once in a while, engage with one of them, let them think you’re genuinely interested and then just when they think they have you, disappear. One day, these people will be policed, taken into a small room and made to listen to Jedward until their heads explode. Until then, it’s up to us to be the voice of justice in an otherwise mixed up world.

Until next time. Now where did I put that Polish girl’s number?